it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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