i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
