we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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