My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
