i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
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you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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