Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
