Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
