you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
