Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
