Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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