Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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