I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
