did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
