Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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