i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
