How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
dude. I can hear the air.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
