She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
worst night to have a conscience
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
