when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
