I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
