i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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