you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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