you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize