i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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