Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
