I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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