I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I need water and some morals
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
