How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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