that's an acceptable place to lick
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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