i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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