reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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