i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
