will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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