I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize