when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
