I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i will never coherently bang her
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I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
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I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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