I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
