So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
