you would pick up someone in the library
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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