This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize