cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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