its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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