Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
