physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
they need to just BURY HIM!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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