Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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