Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize