I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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