so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You are the jesus of drinking
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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