Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
