i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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