I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
