worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
