Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize