I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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