the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
my shit smells like andre
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
