She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
