You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
