people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize