The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
