I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
