GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
