he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
