After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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