I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
