i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
